gmail troubles

i try and try and can't log-in, some days are like that and some days are a bit better

it seems like time goes so slow but then it is gone either way and can't be caslled back to use it, i'd like to make better use of it just no energy to do so

i ask the Lord and he helps me see what is important and then things fit together better and the time doesn't seem like such a waste after all

a long week

Well another week has passed and I'm still struggling to get around, but I can do a little more than yesterday and I guess that is good. I'm working on a quilt that is some thing different than I've done before, this one takes a lot of cutting and that means standing, I don't do well standing, so it is slow work, but it is my work & I'll get it done very slowly and love almost every minute of it.
Hubby gave me his cold so that doesn't help me with everything else I have to deal with - the the Lord helps me deal with it all.

My poppie fell this week and is in the hospital - he had his 95th birthday last week, so things are going slow for him too. Mom seems to be a total worry wart & someone has to be with him 24 hours a day - I'm not sure how she will manage him when & if he gets to go back home she drives me crazy at times now.

Time to see if these legs will hold me up long enough to get some work done.

St Patrick's Day 2009

another day - with new hope - the Son shines and all is good (even when it hurts) - today I struggle on and I know He is with me. I have heard it said 'no pain no gain' - I must be gaining much - I just have to figure out what it is.

1 more day

A long day - again the pain of continuing. Life maybe too short, but some days it seems so long. There are joys, there are sorrows, we laugh, we cry, we sometimes even laugh till we cry. We begin and end with joy and sorrow. I try to do good to others & for others and then I do or say something so stupid, I wonder if it undoes all the good, but I continue to try to share God's love. I can go on only because I know Jesus died for all my sins and all those stupid things I do & don't know why. I can't understand all of His love or how it all works - it is enough to believe & know I am loved that much - you are too - just accept it, it changes everything.

dealing with time

home again from a rough morning - 4 blown veins before the iv was set - that made me late for pt - but there was enough time to where out & find new pain again - this MS is such a horrible thing - but the Lord will see me through till He takes me home
some sewing for others will help get my mind off the hurt & the loneliness of being alone with the pain, i really try hard not to let it show, but am not successful many days
this helps - i will be able to be ok when everyone gets home - its just so hard for very long -maybe today they will find a cure

long time

it seems like i have spent so much time in pain for so long - i never feel like sharing - i wouldn't want to have anyone suffer the pain for me - i don't wish to suffer it myself - but the Lord is always with me and He does see me through each day

i do many things to keep my mind from dwelling - but it is hard at times.

presently i have soldiers to write to - they are all so far from their family & loved ones - what pain that must be for them all - i am writing to about 20 and just rotate down the list - i pray my silly daily words are good for their spirits & that it does them good - i know it does me good . i started writing as a Lenten act last year & have had my list change a few times - i even got to greet a few of the soldiers as the returned from war - that sure humbled me

i am going to try to add writing more often - but we will see how that goes

easy to pick out & put down

I was shopping yesterday at a grocery store, this is where I do most of my grocery shopping. They have a competitors price match, so it has always made it easier for me to just shop one store (even with the wheelchair grocery shopping is a real effort). I have asked different assistant managers, at different times about any new stores that I want to price match, before I would use the ads & had been told "we will match them all, we would rather have all your business, that for you to go somewhere else". So I have used price matches from all the stores I might otherwise shop at for over a year. Yesterday (by myself in my wheelchair) one of the assistant managers, came up to me after I had finished my shopping, and asked if they could talk to me. I thinking that maybe I was the 100,000 customer or something - said "sure - did I win something?" To my total surprise I was informed ' I realize you use price matches to save money - but you are abusing the program and we wouldn't price match , but only' they named off a few selected stores - I said I could just as easily do my shopping in another town (beings we live in the country & it is the same distance one direction as the other & the there was some blah, blah, blah - 'I'll check with the manager & see if we'll price match so & so stores, I didn't realize you lived out there'. I was called later in the day & given a specific list of stores I could now price match. But the whole thing makes me wonder if they didn't know me well, by the fact I am in a wheelchair, would anyone have ever said anything, I know other people price match from the same store I have, but I do try to minimize my trips to town so when I go I may have more price matches at one time than someone how lives in town or works & is in town - thus makes more frequent trips so they aren't noticed as much. This is just another put down of this marginal person in society.

Is it I?

I heard a voice this morning – ‘it said write’ – I have heard it before but I often ignore it at the time and then play with some writing later – but not much and not often. Today was different more like a demand I must follow, so here I am 2 hours earlier than I am usually up - making an attempt to say what …..

I have MS but you may already know that. My days start pretty much the same everyday – I take a pain pill, stager like a drunkard to the bathroom grabbing furniture and walls praying I don’t fall (I’ve had enough broken bones – thank you). I manage to do the usual morning stuff, empty the bladder, defuzz the teeth, deodorant, wash the face if it is dirty (usually it isn’t the pillowcase has taken care of it) brush the hair & then usually back to bed for an hour hoping the pain killer kicks in. After the hour or so I drag myself back out of bed & watch “Simply Quilts” while rising & struggling to get dressed (often the same clothes I wore yesterday – it is to hard to get into the closet and back to my chair where I sit and dress, 2 or 3 times a week I do remember the night before to layout clean clothes). The feet and legs are always the most uncooperative, so I have to sit back down and rest after I do get dressed before I can get on with the day.

Next stop is the kitchen – I fill a glass with ice & diet soda (I always hope hubby remembered to leave one on the table for me, but if not it is a balancing act to get one from the pantry (the walker doesn’t do the pantry & the legs don’t get used to being up and around for an hour or so). Now I must take time for the daily devotions, although my prayers start before I even wake up everyday, these help give me insight to life and it is one of my connections to the world that LOVE lives in. This world were there is LOVE is harder and harder to find each day, but I search for it and make an effort to share some LOVE with it everyday where ever I perceive a need. If it is a day hubby works then I try, with the help of a walker, to go out and get the paper but usually don’t succeed, I sometimes wonder how they manage to usually get it into a spot I can’t quite maneuver to. Then it is back inside, into the living room and onto the computer where I read the new emails (most of them junk) a couple of more devotions and then it is a matter of deciding what to do for the day. I get up, stretch a bit, walk around to se if anything is calling for me to do and them I am back at the computer for most of the morning, visiting websites, taking surveys hoping to earn a little income, but it is very little – after all who really wants the opinion of a homebody that doesn’t have the hundreds or thousands of dollars to spend on the things they want peoples opinions on. I have a website partly set up now that I hope will bring me a little work – but it is in it’s baby stages.

Around noon if the weather permits I walk out to the mailbox with the help of a heavy duty walker with the all terrain type wheels, this is a major exercise; uphill, big gravel, mole hills, sticks and twigs all to trip me up then it is back downhill, a bit steeper than I like, through the same obstacles, into the house and check out what is interesting in the mail – usually it is a lot like checking email, mostly junk. The afternoon is often spent doing a bit of sewing, knitting, crocheting or if I’m not in the mood then I just may go back to the computer after lunch (that is if I remember to eat lunch and there is anything around easy enough I can fix for myself without help).

If it is a day hubby doesn’t work then we may do a bit of shopping if the weather is kind for the wheelchair (little piles of snow or puddles of water that most people just step over are a challenge, it is either struggling through or sometimes a long way around – did you know fatigue is one of the biggest problems with MS – for me it is a lot like carrying extra weights on my ankles, feet, shoulders, wrists, & fingers – even thinking is sometimes like moving in slow motion.) We may go out to lunch at the local restaurant (easy for me to get around in there & always close parking so I can walk using hubby’s shoulder to lean on, it is nice to have a chance once in a while to get around without having to rely on the wheelchair or a walker.

Then there are those days thought that I am compelled to talk about – the days I have to do shopping by myself. Most of the time these shopping trips workout ok but once in a while, especially at a store I don’t frequently shop at – I seem to be invisible in my wheelchair. People will walk around me (I presume because I too slow for them – they are in a hurry and I’m a ‘marginal’ being) to stand in front of me to decided what they are going to buy, while I struggle to reach something on an upper shelf or was just taking a deep breath so I could continue on, I try to be patient and wait for people in front of me to finish so I won’t be in their way again – but occasionally I am in a hurry, so I have to maneuver around people & their cart to go on my way. Then we have the checkout lanes, I am quiet often stepped in front of, especially by those that are carrying their purchases and don’t have a cart, I guess they just don’t see me, the really sad part is that sometimes this is done by people I know – they don’t recognize me in my wheelchair by myself. Luckily I don’t have to venture out on my on very often because it hurts too much.

Quilt Swap help

I recently participated in a block swap & was a bit disappointed when I vound the blocks weren't all the size they were supposed to be - but I found help
quote from - http://quilting.about.com/od/quiltingcommunity/a/swap_blocks.htm

Working with Swapped Quilt BlocksIf you get a block that isn't quite large enough, try pressing it first to see if it grows a bit--blocks are usually too small, not too large.
If that won't quite do it, or if the patches on the outer edges of the block are a bit uneven, use freezer paper to prep the blocks for sewing. Gridded freezer paper makes the job easier, but you can work with plain freezer paper if that's what you have on hand.
>Cut a piece of freezer paper the exact size your unfinished blocks should be.
>Draw two straight lines on the freezer paper's unshiny side--one along the vertical center and one along the horizontal center.
>Draw two diagonal lines, each from one corner to the opposite corner.
>Draw any other lines you feel will help you position the block on the freezer paper.
>Place a block on the ironing board, right side down Position the freezer paper on top of the block, shiny side down.
>Align the block with the freezer paper image, matching up strategic parts of the block with the drawing. Using short applique pins, stab through areas to keep the two from shifting apart.
>When the block and the drawn image are aligned as well as possible, press the paper onto the block. Remove the pins.
>Inspect the edges of the block. They probably won't all reach the edges of the freezer paper, but they should be well enough into the outer quarter-inch area to catch the seam as it passes by.
>Repeat for all blocks that need to be squared up.
>To sew blocks together, align freezer paper edges and check to make sure the patches are matched under the paper. Secure with pins if you like. Sew a seam 1/4" inward from the edge of the paper.
>Assemble into rows then join rows. Do not remove papers until all adjoining blocks are sewn together. Leave the papers around the outer perimeter of the quilt until borders are added.
This method helps prevent skewed quilts by keeping the blocks in-square while you work on them. Your 1/4" seams will be where they should be based on the pattern--and that's sometimes a whole lot different than where they would be sewn if you match-up the edges of inaccurate

MayGod always bless you

So much time, so many things to do, so little energy, so many blessings

I keep telling myself I will get more done - but the energy is just not there. I've heard it said "you can always find time for the things you really want to do" - but with MS or chronic fatigue there is no finding the energy, you do a little bit and rest a lot and then try to do a little bit more, eventually if you are determined you get it done. The hardest part is knowing you won't get as much done in the whole weeks as you used to do in a few hours. But what am I saying - God is so good. I talked with my children and grandchildren this week along with many friends - what more is there. I collect dust - so as long as it doesn't trip me or intervene with the wheel on my chair it is there to be enjoyed (if you would like to enjoy some - I will gladly share, but you'll have to come get it yourself). I probably have a lot of other stuff around that I would also gladly share.
Speaking of God being good - He has sent me the most beautiful bouquet of flowers, purple, yellow & white crocus with a red hyacinth - and there is evidence of tulips and daffodils to be delivered soon. They just make me smile and fill my heart with joy to look at them. I have so much time that I can enjoy them - I pray you can take the time to enjoy God's gifts.

Unexpected help

Hi all, There is a website out there www.mypoints.com if you sign up, no cost, you can earn points for reading emails and clicking on the links. No it isn't a get a lot of free stuff fast - but in a year just clicking the links you can earn enough points for a gift card or two, it make a great way to send a little anonymous gift to someone in need - even when your own budget can't afford it. Over the last several years I had earned enough for over $300 in WalMart cards, many of them went to some out of work people just to help them to know God cares. Oh, if you do sign up, you could say rahobbit@lisco.com referred you & I get extra points to help more in need. Go Light Your World

Happy HolyDays

We can feel offended when stores refuse to use the word Christmas at this time of year, but when they use the word Holiday(s) they are stating Holy Day(s) - that may help many of us to remember the real celebration - the Holy Day of Christ's birth. As we begin a new year let a make a resolution to "never give up in doing good" - We are Christ's light in the world today, let us not hide our light.

He holds me up

I recently gave a talk at a retreat - I was a bit concerned about what I was going to say and how (with my MS balance & standing problems) I would be able to walk to the podium give a talk that would take about 25 mins & then walk out. I sat down to write the talk & the next thing I knew it was done - I had no idea what it said, but God did (He wrote it) so I just had to become familiar enough with it to present without my tongue getting in my way.

The retreat started & then day of the of my talk came & I had been quite calm knowing it was in His hands, but I was a bit concerned about the walking to & from the podium & the standing. I went into the Chapel to pray before my talk & as I wheel myself in I see a picture of Jesus & a sign "All who kneel here I will not let them fall". I read it several times & thought Lord are you Talk;king to me? If I kneel at the alter how long will it be before some comes along to help me up? I know I can't get down on my knees & be able to get myself back up again, but He kept telling me 'I brought you here'

Well I followed his calling a knelt & prayer that He could use me for His glory, when I finished He lifted me to my feet with no problems. He held me up all the way to the podium, He delivered a talk (even though I know I lost my voice about 3 mins into the 25 mins talk) and He continued to hold me as I walked out, sat back down in my wheelchair to go back to the Chapel and praise Him.
What an Awesome God We Serve!

Protection on all sides

Yesterday I took a nasty fall, I was in my wheelchair and maneuvering around a car - when all of a sudden the chair went over backwards and I flew head-over-heals to the concrete parking lot. There is no doubt in my mind Satan was trying to attack, but I have been praying 'a Christ surround me prayer' for several weeks now & I know He is. I have no bruises - no broken bones (even thought I have osteoporosis & have had two broken bones in the last 3 years). Satan cannot stand against the truth of God's Word - we just have to use The Word And give God the glory - may all how read this be blessed through Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

God is good (ALL THE TIME)

I have a spark

Beware of the great deceiver that wears the '666' it may be he has turned things upside down '999' to deceive may how would believe - our own eyes turn what we see upside down and our brain then turns it right again - we must check our hearts and souls that what we believe is the truth of God, in Jesus Christ - 'died for my sins, rose from the dead, ascended into heaven and promise me a place there with him'
May this spark light your world.

Good Monday

Another Monday- but try to make the most of it, after all there are six whole days before another Monday comes around & if Monday is good - the rest of the week is too.

Go light your world

A really long week - full of trials and blessings - people come just to say 'Hi' - no luck finding a pug I can afford - my wheelchair needs new wheels - the 5 year old next door comes over to make cookies. God IS good - alll the time

Monday morning with MS

It is always hard to get the week started with fresh energy if the weekend was full - and it was full & wonderful worshiping - "Christ is Risen" - so rather than worry about all the things I can't do - I will reflect and meditate on the goodness & blessings.